Yes. I am Woman. I am soft, loving, and a fierce protector of those whom I love. I also use, on quite a regular basis, my prerogative to change my mind or attitude.
When I was younger, I attributed my feelings, and changes of mind, to hormones. You know, those crazy little buggers that make men men, and women women. In retrospect, I believe I suffered from PMS, before they had a medical term for it. Honestly, my hormones took me on some wild, crazy, emotional, roller coaster rides back then. I also had a tendency to be a “drama queen.” I admit it, and I think there are still remnants of that queen that occasionally surface, even at this stage in my life. Of course, with less drama, but, it is a part of my nature.
As I look forward to visiting one of my sons, and his family in a few days, I have taken time off from my transcription job. I had become disillusioned, and wanted to quit, to move on to something else. I wrote about my dismay (see, I told you I still had some of that drama queen inside.) And then, I decided that I needed to take a step back. Take a few days off from transcription, and unplug from my computer for two weeks in order to put my thoughts into some semblance of order, and take a clearer look at the big picture.
Stepping back has helped. I set aside the emotions of feeling like a failure, and kept busy with preparing for my little vacation, all the while, the back of my mind was busy thinking of my work options. I had convinced myself that my skills were not up to par with other transcriptionists who were moving upward to the next level. I really became caught in a downward spiral of negativity until I stood still and decided to take that step back, and rationally consider all things.
This morning, I needed to run last-minute errands, stocking necessary items needed during my absence from home… things like insulin for the dog, special dog food, and frozen food requests from my husband (even though I will leave some home-made frozen meals for him, he prefers junk food.)
After unpacking groceries, I decided to finally tackle defrosting the freezer, a chore I procrastinated for a very long time. While it was defrosting, I turned on the computer, played Words With Friends with my cousin (we’ve about six games going at the same time) checked email, and there it was. The notice from the transcription service that I have been upgraded to the next level. I was transformed to a state of disbelief! Yes. I was elated, despite all of my ranting about the cons of being an independent contractor, and transcriptionist.
I am happy because I feel validated. My notes, my earnest attempts to do a good, no, the best performance of which I am capable were not worthless. I am grateful to the editors/proofreaders for their direction and encouragement. I would not want their job, it has to be exceedingly tough. Honestly.
So, there it is, my recant on my rant. I am in a happier, more peaceful place now. I am still woman though, and will continue to practice the right to change my mind and, on occasion, express the “dramas” in my life.
Now, to re-fill the freezer, start packing my bag and unplug until my return.