The Letter

This is it. This is the email that changed my life, and so many others’, forever. My grieving began immediately….

From: mike
Sent: Tuesday, March 17, 2015 12:49 PM
To: Mom, Joe, Ryan, Chet
Subject: Please read!!

Good morning Everyone and Happy St. Patty’s day,

I hope everyone is doing great this morning and all is well.

I’m sure none of you are aware and this will come as a great shock but I thought I would reach you all in this e-mail before you find out on Facebook or some other social network site. I also thought about how to tell my family this news.

Option #1 tell a long heart felt story about life and what my family means to me.

Option #2 come right out, say it and deal with it. (as I am doing)

I’m am choosing option #2

Quick history: For the past year I have not been feeling all that well and was diagnosed with Acute Pancreatitis. After lots of blood work, CT scans and medication it seemed to have gotten better and life goes on.

This past January I started to feel ill again. Treatment for Pancreatitis commenced again, with major changes to my diet and health choices. After a month went by I wasn’t seeing any results and continued to see my doctor which scheduled more exams and meds.

I could tell by the reaction from my doctor, the lab techs and how I felt that something was wrong. Yesterday morning I got the call to come in and get the results of my tests and screens. I will tell you this. I had the weirdest felling in my life as I drove to the doctors knowing that I have been waiting for this answer for over a month and the outcome is either Life or Death.

I have be diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer and it has spread to my Liver.

I know you may have a ton of question and I don’t have the answers right now.
PLEASE!!!! DO NOT CALL me right now!!!!!!
PLEASE!!! give it some time.
This is very hard for us to deal with and I have to try and keep my head clear and calm.

I see the specialist next Wednesday for treatment options and what the future will hold. I will be able to update everyone then if I don’t talk to you sooner. Right now we are doing everything we can to stay clam and stress free as much as possible which helps!!!!.

I will be looking to all of you for council and to talk about this but I am not feeling very talkative and would really appreciate phone silence (for today anyway). I would like to hear from the specialist before being bombarded with a ton of questions I don’t have answers for.

Now go out and Drink a nice cold pint of Green beer for me and I will raise my green tea in the air as a salute to the greatest family, wife and kids only most people can dream of having.

I love you all with every bit of my heart and look forward talking with you all over the next couple of days. (NOT TODAY!!! and in the evenings are best)

After my breakdown and phoning my husband at work, who could not understand a word I was saying due to my guttural cries, and whose secretary could hear my wailing and looked at him in alarm, I phoned one of my other sons. I needed to cry, I needed someone to pinch me, wake me from this nightmare.

I honored Mikey’s request to not phone him. I understood the request. I could not imagine what he and his wife were going through at the very same moment, especially as they watched their children at play. My heart was shattered.

Several hours later, I replied to Mikey’s email:

I will be there with you as soon as you want, whatever I can do, however I can be of help, for as long as you want.

All my love,
Mom