Here Piggy, Piggy, Piggy

Daily Post: Second-Hand StoriesWhat’s the best story someone else has recently told you (in person, preferably)? Share it with us, and feel free to embellish — that’s how good stories become great, after all.

My husband deals with people all day long from his own staff to corporate staff to vendors and finally, customers. Nearly everyday he comes home with interesting or just plain crazy stories that people tell him, either about themselves or someone with whom they came in contact.

Storyteller

© Andy Thomas
Storyteller

My favorite stories are the ones that come from Jack. Jack owns a fix-it garage, he and his guys can fix anything that might be wrong with your car, they also do incredible body-work. He’s been in business at the same location for over thirty years, has a great reputation and is an all around nice guy. Sometimes Harry, my husband, will stop by Jack’s garage on his way home from work just to shoot the breeze, and that’s when the best story-telling begins. This time though, it was Harry’s turn to tell the story.

“Hey bud, how’ya doin’,” Jack was scrubbing the grease from his hands when he spotted Harry come into the shop.

“Ok, doin’ ok here, what’s new with you?” Harry’s eyes quickly scanned the vehicles Jack had in the shop for anything interesting or out of the ordinary. He loved cars, his dad had owned a foreign car garage when he was young, that’s when Harry started working on cars. His love for cars has never waned.

“Aw, same old same old. But I heard you had a bit of excitement the other day,” Jack watched Harry’s face for a reaction.

Harry thought for a minute and started to laugh, “Yeah, how’d you hear about it?”

“C’mon. Whose brother owns the liquor store? Where does all the gossip get stirred up?”

“Yeah, yeah. That was my first mistake, telling Leo about it.”

“Ok, so, it’s true? I’ve heard his version, now I want to hear the truth.” Jack motioned for Harry to follow him to the office and sit on a comfortable sofa, “How ’bout a beer?”

“No. No, I don’t drink if I have to drive, won’t take a chance with losin’ my CDL, but thanks anyway.”

“Yeah, don’t blame ya. I wouldn’t be havin’ one either if I had to drive. That’s what’s handy about havin’ the house nearby on my own private road,” John pointed to the north wall, as if you could see through it to his house half a mile up the hill. “So, c’mon, the clock’s tickin’, tell me all about it.”

“Ok, so, you know Jeff, right?”

“Yeah, he’s your boss, I think I fixed the bumper on that pickup with the wild wrap on it.”

“Yeah. Well, he has some property down south where he keeps cattle.”

“He raise ’em for beef?”

CowPet

© Free-picture.net
PET COW

“I think that’s how it started out, but, he couldn’t bring himself to have them slaughtered, so, they’re his pets now. He goes to check on them at least every other day. So, a couple weeks ago, he noticed the fence was torn up. He patched the fence but it kept happening, so he bought a motion detector camera and set it up on a tree. That’s when he found out it was wild hogs who were gettin’ in.”

“Any of ’em hurt the cows?”

“Nope. But Jeff didn’t wanna take any chances, so, he built himself a blind in a tree, an old black jack, but it’s a pretty big one and positioned right where he can best see the fence line where all the trouble’s been happnin’. He planned to spend the night there and shoot some feral hogs.

“When it was turnin’ dark, he loaded his supplies on the platform – sleepin’ bag, thermos o’ coffee, night-vision binoculars, couple o’ sandwiches, rifle an’ ammunition. Just when he was settlin’ in to watch for the hogs and start shootin’, he heard his cell phone ring. It was in his pickup.

“He climbed down the tree without a flashlight, ‘cuz he forgot it in the truck but he made it ok, got his phone and a flashlight and started walkin’ back to the tree. There were a lot of muddy, deep ruts in the ground from the rains and the cows and the damn hogs. He fell a couple o’ times but made it back to his hideout.

Tree2

© Google Search

“So there he was, finally settlin’ in, pullin’ his sleepin’ bag ’round his shoulders, pourin’ a cup o’ steamin’ hot coffee and just as he leaned over to grab the cell phone by his feet, he heard a loud creakin’ noise and boom! Half o’ the platform gave way and he landed on the ground, hard, in the mud, no cell phone, no flashlight, no rifle! All that stuff was still up there, in the tree.”

“Shit. Talk about bad luck!”

“That’s not the worst part yet. He tries to get up on his feet and realizes something’s wrong, really wrong, his leg is killing him. He knew he couldn’t get back up in the tree and even if he could, what good would it do, the platform was half gone. So he tried crawlin’ to his truck. That’s when he heard noises at the fence. It was the wild hogs comin’ for their nightly visit.”

“Hell, I can just see ol’ Jeff, layin’ there in all that mud, surrounded by skittish cows and a herd o’ wild pigs comin’ at him! Those suckers can be meeeaann!”

HogsFeral

© Google Search
Feral Hogs

“I guess so. I know you don’t wanna be alone with them in the woods. Anyway, so he starts crawlin’ back to his truck, the cows are gettin’ restless ‘cuz o’ the hogs. Jeff’s gettin’ scared he’s gonna get trampled. Anyway, he makes it back to his pickup and after strugglin’ forever, he finally pulls himself up in the cab.  His right leg was broken, he couldn’t drive! He had to wait there ’til someone found him.

“He knew eventually someone would notice he was missin’, so all he could do was wait.”

“Oh. Shit yeah. His cell phone was still up in the screen! Damn, what a mess. He’s lucky he’s alive! He’s lucky he didn’t break his neck!”

“No shit! You haven’t seen the tree, the platform had to be up at least twenty-five feet off the ground. That’s enuf of a fall to kill yourself!”

“Sheeeooottt. So, who found him? How’s he doin’?”

“Well, he and Kyle were supposed to go to Tulsa the next morning and Kyle couldn’t get hold o’ Jeff when Jeff was late, that’s when Kyle started callin’ ’round and decided to take a ride out to the pasture. He found Jeff and brought him to the hospital.”

“Geez! All that over wild pigs. So, are the wild pigs still a problem?”

“Last I heard, Kyle patched up the fence for Jeff and there haven’t been any more sightings, which I think is really weird.”

“Crazy, crazy, crazy.” Jack took the last swig of his beer, and Harry started for the door.

“Well, it’s gettin’ late, gotta go. Cya later.”

“Anytime ol’ buddy, anytime,” Jack pulled the door closed and latched it as he answered his cell phone, it was his wife, “Jack, are you ok with BLTs tonight? I’m exhausted and don’t feel like cooking a big meal.”

BLT_sandwich_(1)

© Wikipedia
BLT

“Sure thing Babe, bacon, lettuce and tomato sound real good right about now. Real good.”

NaBloPoMo_1114_465x287_NOV_0

DAY TWO

BAR_LINE2

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12 responses to “Here Piggy, Piggy, Piggy

  1. Ha! I actually slapped my knee. I do love a funny short story. I’m glad I found your blog, Swoosieque. Go #NaBloPoMo!

    Like

  2. I had such a laugh!!Great story Swoosie!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Great reading… so keep writing! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. So glad he was rescued!! Good tale!!

    Like

  5. Pingback: 50 Word Sentence? | Cancer Isn't Pink

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