Patron Saint of Awkward

Daily Post – A True Saint
In 300 years, if you were to be named the patron saint of X, what would you like X to be? Places, activities, objects — all are fair game.

RipPants1

© Unknown

AWKWARD, definitely awkward, yes, I would be the Patron Saint of Awkward. I have much experience with awkward moments, although Clumsy, was a close runner-up for my Sainthood, Awkward won, pants down… oops, I mean hands down.

shopping1Let’s take for example, if someone was going to call in sick to work because they really needed a mental-health day off but ended up at the Mall for a bit of shopping therapy and ran into their boss’s wife, that would be me. And as luck would have it, I would be stuck at a stop light next to my boss, in his car, as I was on my way home from shopping therapy.

Man and Woman Kissing in OfficeI’m also the one who accidentally walked into a different boss’s office, only to find him in an awkward situation with the Comptroller.

But, getting back to awkward and pants, I was the one, who when I was pregnant with my first child, squeezed myself into a pair of dress pants sure that I could wait until the next payday to actually buy maternity clothes. That was back in the old days before it was fashionable to show baby bumps. Anyway, my boss (a different one from the aforementioned ones) called me into his office for dictation. I opened his door while holding my pen and steno pad and turned to close the door.

That boss was slightly older than I, and I was very young, nineteen; he might have been twenty-five and was the V.P. of the bank’s loan department.  “Um,” he started, “You might want to do something about that.” He pointed to my stomach, but I did not understand to what he was referring!

“What?” I questioned.

“You might want to zip up your pants before we get started.”

Holy mackerel! I swiftly spun around so that my back would be facing him as I pulled up my zipper, wondering if it would hold as I sat down to take the dictation. It held but I am quite certain that my face was radish red and remained that way for the rest of that work day.

haloMy qualification/experience for this Sainthood spans beyond the professional environment of offices, I have survived awkward situations in a myriad of public and private places, too many to recount for this little blurb. It has been an interesting path to this crowning moment, that’s for sure!

BAR_LINE2

More responses to this Daily Post:

Kenton Lewis, Patron Saint of Daily Prompts and Writer’s Block

Patron Saint of Witches

Not Quite a Saint

Patron Saint

A True Saint – Saint Blog and the Big Finger

Being a Patron Saint

P.S. When I figure out how to copy and paste all the entries for pingbacks, I will be happy to add more, right now though, I’m doing each link manually… Can anyone tell me how to do this? I’ve looked at the page source, but, there’s so much other coding, like snapshots etc… is that the only way to do this? – Thanks!

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