When I took the bra and bandages off three days after surgery and looked down, I cried! To me, to my eyes, what I saw was SQUARE pectorals and I cried. I cried little-girl, helpless tears as my husband looked at me with deer-in-the-headlight eyes. When I saw his reaction, I knew I had to gather up my emotions since he started talking about suing people.
“I don’t like to see you cry!” He firmly expressed to me, “… and someone’s going to pay!”
It wasn’t until a full week had passed when I chatted on facebook with my cousin (she had her exchange surgery nearly two months prior) that we shared news and photographs. My cousin’s latest news was that one of her implants was infected. I asked how she knew something was wrong, what were her symptoms. She explained that a small area near the healed scar began to be painful and red and by the next morning, her whole ‘breast’ was swollen twice its size and a burning red in color.
She sent me a picture, (not sharing my cousin’s photo here for her privacy) displaying the swollen, red breast mound. I commented on how painful the breast looked but how lovely and realistic they were. I also told her how dissatisfied I was with mine and that I would take a picture and share it with her.
It’s funny how I never had a picture of my breasts before cancer and now, I don’t care who sees them if it will help another person who is going through breast cancer and reconstruction.
When I looked at the photos I had just taken, I thought, “Gee, those aren’t my implants, those actually look pretty good!” But, they WERE my implants! They looked totally different in the photograph than they did when I looked downward at them.
So, I shared my photo with my cousin and one of my daughters-in-law who both told me they thought they looked good! Oh, and my best friend concurred. So, I am content with them even though to me, looking downward, they still seem ‘square’. I am actually feeling so much better about them that I am now considering possibly changing my mind about nipple reconstruction. That’s a woman’s prerogative, right, to change her mind?
Meanwhile, I am going to concentrate on catching up with my blogging buddies’ posts and some wp challenges.