Monthly Archives: April 2014

Sweet 16 and…

Daily Prompt:  Only Sixteen
Tell us all about the person you were when you were sixteen. If you haven’t yet hit sixteen, tell us about the person you want to be at sixteen.

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Lips-Sealed-714817 As my 16th birthday approached I had a secret. It was mine and mine alone. I didn’t share it with my best friend or my sister – my two closest confidants. My secret was one of passage, ‘the first kiss’ and it happened only weeks before my 16th birthday. I would celebrate that birthday with a quiet smile as uncles and aunts teased me about being “sweet 16 and never been kissed”.

Other than having crossed the threshold of the first kiss, I was innocent and very ignorant of what it meant to be ‘in love’, something which my teenaged heart and mind daydreamed about night and day, along with my girlfriends.

Television, unfortunately, was my source for learning about relationships, especially about love and marriage since my parent’s relationship was frigid; there was nothing to learn from them other than how to live together in cold silence. This was unfortunate because life and love in movies or television was nowhere near accurately portrayed and a sorry substitute for learning affection.

SewingPattern1 My after-school job was being the desk clerk at my family’s music school three nights a week, this would be my second year earning money to afford sewing materials and patterns to make my own school clothes. After a bitter disagreement with my mother about fashion, when we shopped for clothes my freshman year, she gave up on me, told me I could make my own clothes from then on and that is what I did. It turned out to be a good thing too. Learning to sew allowed me to make extra-special Halloween costumes for my children, later in life. I also sewed my own homecoming, prom and wedding gowns.

Twiggy

Twiggy

Typically, by nature, I am lamb-like, very accommodating and non-argumentative except in the case of my high school wardrobe. I confess, I became teen-zilla. I think that was and still is the norm for teen girls, especially, in my case, after eight years of wearing a uniform at a Catholic school. In high school, I could “wear” my identity through my outfits and make-up.

One of the most special gifts of my life was given to me on my 16th birthday, a silver charm bracelet. Forty-four years later, I still have that charm bracelet and each charm sparks memories of milestones in my life. I so much prefer the old-style charm bracelets rather than the newer Pandora® style bracelets, to my mind, more individuality is achieved in the older style bracelets.

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© Cancer Is Not Pink
Swoosieque

This September, I will be celebrating my 16th birthday again, well, kind of, in a special way… I’ll be 61, which, transposed is 16. Might it be possible to ‘transpose’ that first kiss from so many years ago and re-live the excitement once again?

I dunno, but, trying will certainly be fun!

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Exchange Surgery Outcome

When I took the bra and bandages off three days after surgery and looked down, I cried! To me, to my eyes, what I saw was SQUARE pectorals and I cried. I cried little-girl, helpless tears as my husband looked at me with deer-in-the-headlight eyes. When I saw his reaction, I knew I had to gather up my emotions since he started talking about suing people.

angry_man

© Unknown – Google

“I don’t like to see you cry!” He firmly expressed to me, “… and someone’s going to pay!”

It wasn’t until a full week had passed when I chatted on facebook with my cousin (she had her exchange surgery nearly two months prior) that we shared news and photographs. My cousin’s latest news was that one of her implants was infected. I asked how she knew something was wrong, what were her symptoms. She explained that a small area near the healed scar began to be painful and red and by the next morning, her whole ‘breast’ was swollen twice its size and a burning red in color.

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Staph Infected Implant
© Real Self . com

She sent me a picture, (not sharing my cousin’s photo here for her privacy) displaying the swollen, red breast mound. I commented on how painful the breast looked but how lovely and realistic they were. I also told her how dissatisfied I was with mine and that I would take a picture and share it with her.

It’s funny how I never had a picture of my breasts before cancer and now, I don’t care who sees them if it will help another person who is going through breast cancer and reconstruction.

When I looked at the photos I had just taken, I thought, “Gee, those aren’t my implants, those actually look pretty good!” But, they WERE my implants! They looked totally different in the photograph than they did when I looked downward at them.

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7 days post-op Exchange Surgery
© Cancer Is Not Pink – Swoosieque

So, I shared my photo with my cousin and one of my daughters-in-law who both told me they thought they looked good! Oh, and my best friend concurred. So, I am content with them even though to me, looking downward, they still seem ‘square’. I am actually feeling so much better about them that I am now considering possibly changing my mind about nipple reconstruction. That’s a woman’s prerogative, right, to change her mind?

Meanwhile, I am going to concentrate on catching up with my blogging buddies’ posts and some wp challenges.

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