Monthly Archives: February 2014

To Nipple or Not to Nipple

EtsyNipplePasties

When all else fails, Pasties are fun!
©Gothfoxdesigns

To nipple or not to nipple, that is the question. At least for me, that is the question which I have been pondering for a very long time now as I approach the exchange surgery where my tissue expanders will be replaced with permanent implants.

When my journey first began, I was dead-set on having the nipple reconstruction surgery, now, I am dead-set against it, for personal reasons. First of all, I never liked having nipples since they were always protruding even if the weather wasn’t cold! They were eye-magnets for men and I always felt uncomfortable when I would notice a man staring at my nipples.

My chest, I’m not going to refer to my reconstruction as “foobs” (f=fake, oobs=boobs) because I do not like bandwagon terminology or mentality. Nor shall I refer to the reconstructed area as breasts because, in fact, they are NOT breasts. They are implants fashioned to resemble breasts. I shall refer to them as implants.

My exchange surgery is next week, March 6, 2014. I am anxious to have this completed but fearful for how the end result may look. After my visit with my plastic surgeon last Monday, I was upset with how she described the upcoming surgery, “I’ll just cut into the existing scars here,” she pointed toward the outer side of my scars near my underarms, “about two inches, remove the expanders and place the implants.”

Bilateral Mastectomy Expanders

My expanders look like this,
placed very high with ragged scars.

She said nothing about cutting out the existing scars from the mastectomy surgery and refining them as she had told me in one of our initial visits when she had explained how she would make new, clean cuts to cut out the jagged scars and the new scars would be hairline and nearly invisible. I emailed her this morning asking what the situation is. I have not heard back from her. I am not happy.

Another area of concern, note the photo, my expanders are just as lopsided. I am so afraid that my plastic surgeon is NOT going to do a good job, and then what? Will my insurance cover me for surgery with a different surgeon to fix her mess? Beyond that fear, I am upset at the thought of possibly having to go for another surgery to fix her mess.

But, I digress, I intended to write about my choice to NOT go for nipple reconstruction and the biggest part is that I am beginning to have less faith in my plastic surgeon and her results. I just want to get this implant surgery finished and get on with my life. I don’t trust her to do nipple surgery, but, as I said before, I don’t want nipples because I didn’t like them when I had them. To my mind, reconstructed nipples would be like having skin tags.

I have been researching 3D nipple/areola tattoos and of course, Vinnie Myers’ name came up as he is the most revered tattoo artist in this area. I believe that I have found a tattoo artist, locally, (Big Daddy’s Tattoos in OKC – scroll down to Drew Shurtleff) who I think can give me just as good or BETTER results as Vinnie and I won’t have to travel. I’ll write more about my tattoo experience with photos when the time comes.

nipple_medium_large_200

© Myreforma
Prosthetic, Reusable Nipple

3D Nipple/areola tattoos are my choice and if I really want to change out to the ‘look’ of protruding nipples, I can always buy reusable, prosthetic nipples at a reasonable cost, heck, insurance may even cover that cost. I can also use pasties or cartoon stickers for fun, the kind my grandchildren use! The possibilities are endless!

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My Grown-up Crush

Coming of age in the late 1960’s, I was influenced by the look of the Beatles and their ‘long’ hair, Twiggy and her outlandish eye makeup, mini-skirts, Woodstock, women’s lib, David Cassidy, Davey Jones and I am sure, many more celebrities of the day.

Even though I liked Paul McCartney as my favorite Beatle, I thought his eyes were dreamy, I never bought a poster of him to hang in my room nor did I buy such teen magazines as Tiger Beat or whatever other teen periodicals were popular back then. I did not come from a privileged family and magazines, records and memorabilia were considered extravagances, which was too bad for me since many Beatles’ memorabilia are valuable collector items these days.

As I grew up and older, my attractions became focused on real-life male peers rather than pop idols. Other than an appreciation for Brad Pitt’s good looks, especially when he appeared in Thelma and Louise, and George Clooney, who gets better with age, my celebrity fascinations remained limited…

ian-somerhalderAnd then, while searching for something to watch on t.v. during a recent layup with a sinus infection, I watched an episode of The Vampire Diaries. Suddenly, I remembered the girlish sighs, daydreams and infatuation of youth as my eyes beheld the image of Ian Somerhalder, my brand new, one and only, grown-up crush! 

No kidding, when I first saw Somerhalder, I had to Google his name to see if he was Rob Lowe’s son. Somerhalder’s resemblance to Lowe is uncanny. Adding to his good looks, the character he plays as bad-boy vampire Damon, adds to his allure. His eyes and chiseled jaw line are works of art and so nice to look at, truly, his face is eye candy.

I still do not buy magazines, especially the teen ones, nor do I decorate my home with posters, but, I just may change my desktop wallpaper to an image of Somerhalder and remember, even for a few brief moments what fun schoolgirl crushes were.

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