My follow-up visit with the Oncologist happened two days ago, on Tuesday. Initially, it was going to be a follow-up to see how I was tolerating the Hormone blocking pill, Aromatase, Arimidex which I had been taking for 35 days, enough time for any ugly side-effects to show up. Other than talking about that pill, I thought she might want to do a bone density test; it was going to be an easy visit.
When Dr. Theobald entered the room, she carried a few papers in her hand and was all smiles! She immediately began telling me about my OncoType DX results, not realizing that I had previously phoned for the results weeks ago. I did not interrupt, she was having so much fun being positive with my tremendous test score! She handed me a copy of the report and pointed to the graph and the number “1”.
She exclaimed, “I am so happy that I decided to go ahead and run this test. Your results show that you have less of a chance of cancer recurrence than even me, who has never had cancer! In all of my time in practice, I have never seen anyone with a score of “1”! Never!!“ We lightheartedly joked about my A+++ score and being the perfect student.
That was great news! But, somewhere deep in the recesses of my brain, I will always be worried about getting cancer again. Strangely, because of her excitement with my score of “1”, I’m almost more scared of a recurrence, just because it’s like fate might be playing a cruel joke on me. Anyway, she told me that as long as I’m doing well with the Arimitase, I should only have to see her three times per year and maybe even less after the first two years.
After answering any questions I may have had, she smiled big and told us to, “go on, get outta here…” in a funny, joking fashion, kind of like quit wasting her time, there are “real”, sick people out there for her to help.
I know that I should be elated, but, something inside me simply cannot jump for joy yet and I just cannot put my finger on why, it’s like being on the lookout for something stalking me. Is this a chronic, residual effect of having had cancer? Will it stalk me the rest of my life?